When you hear the word “uncomfortable”, what comes to mind? I’m guessing you have thoughts or feelings with some sort of negative connotation associated with the concept of being uncomfortable. I know that is exactly how I used to feel about being uncomfortable. Not anymore. A few months ago, I began actively seeking-out decisions, tasks and other situations that were intentionally uncomfortable. In doing so, my personal productivity, effectiveness and confidence has shot through the roof! Let me explain…
I recently read two books that have made a huge impact on me in many ways. The first book is Linchpin by Seth Godin and the second book is 4-Hour Workweek, by Tim Ferriss. Both books are amazing and packed with gems of knowledge and inspiration. Of the many ideas and concepts from these books, there are two ideas that I have combined that directly relate to this concept of being uncomfortable.
First, in Linchpin, Seth Godin introduced me to the concept of Emotional Labor. Emotional Labor is bringing guts, ideas, passion and love to work when you and others don’t feel like it. Godin writes about making your “work” your “art”. Seth Godin proposes that we embrace the fact that the only thing we get paid for is doing Emotional Labor. To become indispensable to your organization and become a “Linchpin”, do Emotional Labor the best and you will keep getting rewarded for it.
Next, in 4-Hour Workweek, Tim Ferriss advocates intentionally embracing discomfort and uncomfortable situations as a method for making positive change in your life. No doubt, Ferriss crafted the idea of purposeful and voluntary discomfort from his admiration of the ancient Roman Stoic philosopher, Seneca. Tim Ferriss quotes Seneca throughout The 4-Hour Workweek. Ferriss wants us to expose ourselves to fear, to potential embarrassment, to risk. Mentally go to the place of the worst-case possible scenario. Doing this helps us very clearly recognize appropriate courses of action. Tim Ferriss has a great video talking about these principles.
By combining these ideas from Godin and Ferriss, I come up with Uncomfortable Emotional Labor. I have found that during times of discomfort… when we feel most uncomfortable… that the most meaningful, forward progress is achieved. Identifying and attacking an uncomfortable issue, task or situation is Emotional Labor. Put another way, the most effective Emotional Labor is the type that feels uncomfortable. This Emotional Labor is hard, it takes guts, it fully engages creativity, and ignites passion and love. And the payoff is amazing! Think about it, how satisfied are you when you accomplish something routine and safe? Compare that with the level of satisfaction you feel when accomplish something hard to do, something scary, something possibly embarrassing or risky? Big difference, and not just for your personal satisfaction, but also for results you are driving for your organization.
How do you engage Uncomfortable Emotional Labor? Identify uncomfortable tasks and decisions and put them at the top of your daily action list. Have you been putting-off holding a colleague, employee, a vendor, a relative, or (hardest of all) yourself accountable for something? Do you see something in your life or business that needs to change, but you postpone action in an effort to not “stir the pot”? Take a look at your task list and decide what is the most uncomfortable thing on your list. Then make that item the top priority. The task list approach is good place to start, but it tends to be very tactical. Also, think more strategically and holistically by forcing yourself to think of Uncomfortable Emotional Labor in the context of quarterly or annual objectives you are driving.
Put yourself out there. Get uncomfortable.
I’d love to hear how you apply Uncomfortable Emotional Labor in your life. For me, the more I focus on these concepts, ironically, the more comfortable I am engaging Uncomfortable Emotional Labor. Quite an interesting paradox… but, I’ll save that discussion for another time. ;-)
[Image credit: Rick C.]
Marc,
I perform uncomfortable emotional labor in at least 2 ways:
First, I strive to accept my life's experiences as though I'd personally chosen them. When something happens–whether my ego considers it good or bad, delightful or catastrophic–I (strive to) ask myself “How is this perfect for me? Why did I want this to happen?” I find this highly uncomfortable for my ego (that limited part of myself, the Lizard Brain, the screaming voice of victim-hood and insecurity Godin talks about), but enormously liberating and empowering to a truer, wiser part of myself. I'm less inclined to wallow in fear or self-pity and more inclined to be pro-active and take responsibility for next steps.
Second, I strive to live from a place of “natural knowing.” I find this one MUCH more challenging for my ego, which always finds it far more comfortable–particularly in a situation where the stakes are high–to analyze, experiment, and gather tons of empirical data before I draw conclusions and take action; and even then, once I've iterated to a point of confidence, to only stand behind my conclusions tentatively, with caveats like the now familiar “I reserve the right to change this position at any time.”
Don't get me wrong: I believe fervently that there's a time when this approach–something like the scientific method–is what works best. I use it often when I'm unfamiliar with a situation and developing a hypothesis on how to proceed. But the truth is there are also times–more frequent that I probably admit–when I experience a download of sorts; something completely unscientific: a matrix-like, eye-fluttering dump of information and ideas that have proved out, time and again, to be the best course of action for me. I used to instinctively reject this thinking as it occurred, fearful that it might be wrong. I was convinced that if it didn't emerge from the hypothesis-driven scientific method, it wasn't worth much. And then I would watch as needless drama and churn ensued in my life. I've begun to learn that listening to these downloads–trusting them, which requires a willingness to be wrong (and this is the uncomfortable, emotionally laborious part)–results in . . . well . . . miracles: things working out better than I could possibly imagine.
Just to be clear, I don't always get these, and in their absence I still rely heavily on my hypothesis-driven approach. But there are times when I do get them, and I've begun to embrace them rather than reject them for lack of a scientific means of creating the idea(s).
Again, both of these issues are tough for my ego, that screaming voice of insecurity that emanates from my lizard brain. And occasionally I make the mistake of assuming that this voice is who I really am. The truth, of course, is that the real me is much more powerful, free, loving, authentic, honest, passionate, and capable than my ego would ever admit. And the choice to engage in uncomfortable emotional labor is one of the best ways to reveal that truer self; and, as you've already noted, when I do this, that truer self isn't uncomfortable at all. In fact, he's having a ball!
Great post, partner. Please keep them coming.
Marc- Great post, and so very true…. The “lizard brain” (fear/Ego) is a liar and will steal your JOY Every time, which is exactly why I pushed through my fears (I was very nervous to share this with our community, but I “got uncomfortable”), and did this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEzR2tYz6do and ultimately was BLESSED to be awarded a “runner up” prize (FLIP/MINO-thanks!) The RevTour in SD yesterday far exceeded my expectations.. Infusionsoft's team is ROCK SOLID! Best, Brian-
Indeed the lack of willingness to experience discomfort holds many of our peers back and puts us in even more difficult situations. Living on the edge isn't all that uncomfortable once you strive to do it regularly. Thanks for the great post and the inspiration.